One, Two, Three, Four, I Declare a Foot-War
by ariathal2410
Summary: It was the initial meeting between Noah and Exorcists to discuss peace talks. So how did Allen get stuck aggressively playing footsies under the table with four of his supposed "enemies"? Semi-AU, Fifteen Noah, Crack, Oneshot


**WARNING:** 15 Noah (including Adam as the Earl, plus Mana and Neah), semi-AU, possible OOC?, light swearing, Allen's hair's red in this btw

 _Disclaimer:_ Don't own D. G-M or any of it's characters

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Peace. It was something everyone wanted, and after all the casualties over the centuries, it was finally something they could actually agree on. So here they were, a whole lot of Exorcists in a large room in the Ark, seated at a large table, currently having peace talks with the Noah. There was some debate at first, as to who should be sent, but once they received word that all fifteen Noah were going to be present (regardless of temperament) it was decided that all the exorcists should be there as well. The General's headed one end of the table, while the Earl and some other Noah headed the other end. Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Miranda and Krory had been assigned seats closer to the Noah in hopes of easing tension since they were least… _temperamental_ of the group.

Allen still didn't understand how it had ended up this way though. He was stuck between two Noah (and he was sure this had been the smaller one's intentions when she seat jumped). Not only that but they were both on different ends of the height spectrum, so it made for quite the picture. The man next to him was very tall, making him feel like a shortass, and the young girl next to him was really small, making him feel like a giant. If he had to be stuck between two Noah, he probably would've preferred the two opposite him. They looked to be about the same height, as each other _and_ him. He wouldn't be stuck between feeling like a giant and a… well, _beansprout_. He saw Lavi smirk at him and raised a questioning brow. The red-head looked at the man next to him, back to Allen, and mouthed "shortstack". Allen glared at him and then gave a pointed look at the girl next to him. Lavi snickered.

The Earl was speaking now, he was sure, and while he _truly_ wanted to pay attention, his mind had other ideas. His thoughts wandered from what kind of personalities all the different Noah had, to which exits were closest to him if he needed to escape (a horrible habit given to him curtesy of his Master). The Noah across from him let out of huff of boredom and shifted, the movement causing Allen to feel it necessary to do the same. So Allen shifted, one leg over the other – right into the other teen's leg. The Noah scowled at him, and Allen quickly mouthed an apology. The Noah clicked his tongue… and kicked him right back. Allen's eye twitched, but he decided not to make a big deal out of it. It was fair, he decided. Allen had kicked him (however unintentionally), he supposed the teen was entitled to kick back.

The meeting droned on, he vaguely registered a change in voice every now and then (Komui had been assigned as their designated speaker because he was the only one with enough power that they trusted not to screw it up by being rude). The Noah opposite him huffed again, the one beside him beginning to look a little sleepy, and shifted again. And hit the red-haired teen in the process. The Noah sent an irritated look at Allen, and then proceeded to ignore him. Allen's eye twitched. The nerve of this guy! Allen had apologised, and he had kicked him! Now _he_ had kicked _Allen_ , and he wasn't even _going_ to apologise? And the look suggested he thought it was Allen's fault! Allen scowled lightly, pointedly turned away, and kicked the teen. The Noah jolted slightly, and then glared at him. Allen stared back evenly. He had hoped for an apology. He had expected the foot that came into contact with his shin.

Allen returned the glare now, quickly debating the pros and cons of doing this. The Noah was giving him a haughty smirk now, _daring_ him to do something. Allen snapped, stomping on the other teen's foot. And thus, the foot-war began. They stamped on each other's feet, kicked each other's legs and very occasionally glanced around to make sure they weren't interrupting the meeting. At least the Noah was _somewhat_ considerate, Allen decided. The next moment was entirely Allen's fault, he would admit to that. He overshot just slightly, missing the Noah opposite him, and instead hitting the sleepy looking one beside him. The teen yelped, jolting violently and looking around wildly. Allen heard a huff from the head of the table and they all looked to see the Earl giving the previously sleepy teen a disapproving look.

"Mana, did you fall asleep again?" He chastised. Again? "Mana" shook his head violently.

"I didn't!" He protested, but the Earl just shook his head in exasperation and continued the meeting. The teen pouted and Allen felt bad because technically he _hadn't_ been asleep, Allen had just startled him. He waited till the teen was looking around for the culprit and mouthed a sincere apology. Mana huffed and gave him a light kick in return and Allen smiled. That was perfectly fair. Except that was also the time the other teen decided to restart their foot-war, bringing his attention back to him with a harsh foot-stomp. Allen bit back a hiss and kicked back. Mana was grinning now, apparently deciding that this was far more fun than the meeting and immediately joined in.

So now he was foot-fighting with not one, but _two_ Noah. Fantastic. The meeting and their foot-war continued on, and Allen barely noticed the man next to him stretching languidly, even going so far as to tip his chair back. He then heard a huff of laughter and glanced over to find the man smirking, mirth and mischief dancing in his eyes. Ah, so the stretching had been a feint to figure out what they were doing. The man then bumped Allen's leg, quite deliberately, asserting his joining of the game. The teen assumed he had done the same to the other two, judging by the brief flickers of surprise on their faces and the twin grins. The teen across from him gave a small glare at the man mouthing the words "no cheating", the man rolled his eyes and gave an imperceptible nod.

It wasn't long before the small girl next to him figured out what was going on as well, and by this point Mana was inconspicuously covering his mouth to hold in his giggles and the teen across from him was actually grinning. It didn't help that they were getting more aggressive. Hissing, wincing, barely perceptible jolts as the hits became harsher. The girl eagerly joined in, not holding back anything (if the way the other teen bit his lip to keep quiet was anything to go by). Honestly it was a wonder no one else had noticed by now… Though he supposed everyone was too busy actually _paying attention_. Woops, now Allen actually felt a bit guilty. _Ouch_. Now he didn't. He kicked back hard, curved to hit Mana as well and sent a kick the girl's way for good measure. She stomped on his foot and suddenly Lavi jolted with a hiss of pain and the girl winced. One of the older-looking Noah from further down the table stood up and pointed at them angrily. Uh oh.

"Okay, that's two people from that section to have jolted so far, and half of you are squirming! What's going on?!" He demanded. Allen immediately put on his best innocent expression.

"Eh? Whatever do you mean?" He said angelically, the very picture of innocent curiosity. The man deflated slightly, a look of doubt crossing his face.

"Yeah, Papa, what are you talking about?" The girl next to him piped up. Papa? Hadn't Cross told him that the Noah couldn't have kids? Adopted? Oh well, not like it mattered.

"Honestly, brother, you're going delusional." The man next to him added boredly. The other man looked like he had just gotten _shot_ with the way he acted, before slumping down into his chair with a whimper.

"So sorry for Sheryl's interruption Earl. Please continue." The man amended smoothly. Giving the Earl a charming smile. The Noah shrugged lightly before continuing on with whatever he had been saying before, the small group pretending to listen for only a moment. Lavi was giving him a suspicious look now, Mana was smiling happily, and the Noah across from him looked a little perturbed by how well Allen had pulled off his act. The red-haired teen simply smiled and lightly kicked the Noah. The perturbed look instantly became a smirk and their game began anew.

Allen was still slightly confused though. This was just supposed to be an initial meeting between the Noah and the exorcists to establish peace. How in the hell had he managed to incur an aggressive game of footsies with four of his supposed "enemies"? Only his life could take such a strange turn…

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 **AN:** Honestly don't know where this idea came from, but I thought it was funny. As for the Omake I have no idea why my go-to game at the moment seems to be tag, but meh. Hope you enjoyed!

Edit: fixed up a mistake

 **Omake:** _"You're It!"_

Allen was walking around after the meeting was over, looking for the promised food and drink, when a small body slammed into him. He looked down to see the young Noah he had been sitting next to.

"Hiya!" She chirped happily.

"Hi there." He chuckled, giving her a pleasant smile and petting her head. She grinned happily, just as the man that was seated next to Allen joined them.

"You shouldn't treat her like a child you know, she's far older than you are." He informed lightly, poking the girl as she finally let Allen go to pout at the man. The red-haired teen leaned forward slightly and pet the man's head, putting on a sweet smile.

"Eh~ Maybe I treat everyone that way~" He said in an overly cutesy tone. The man leaned back slightly, looking entirely perturbed. The girl next to him cackled. Allen laughed lightly and gave an apologetic smile, the man simply shook his head ruefully.

"Tyki Mikk." The man introduced.

"I'm Road Camelot." The girl piped in, looking at him eagerly. He chuckled lightly.

"Pleasure to meet you both, my name's Allen. Just Allen, I don't have a last name." He added when Road frowned.

"Eh? Why's that?" Mana questioned as he came up with the other Noah from before. Allen shrugged helplessly. Cross hadn't bothered giving him a last name, and Allen had only known his first. So he was just Allen.

"Well… I'm Mana! Mana Campbell. This is my brother, Neah!" Ah, so they _were_ brothers.

"Yo." Neah greeted with a small smirk. Allen decided he was probably going to have to get used to that smirk if he was going to hang out with the Noah.

"Nice to meet you all." He said politely. Road gave a shark-like grin then.

"Let's play another game." She suggested eagerly.

"Like what?" Mana asked, equally as eager. The girl pondered for a moment before a sly looked crossed her face.

"Let's play tag!" She decided, reaching over and playfully slapping Mana.

"You're it!" She cried.

"Eh?!" The teen exclaimed just as everybody started moving. They were all running around the Ark, and _god_ Allen was _so_ getting lost in here. He was just about to go around another corner when he heard voices.

"Tyki stop cheating!" Mana.

"I'm not cheating, I'm just faster than you!" Tyki.

"You're totally cheating, bastard!" That was Neah. Allen was just about to peek around the corner when someone else came around. Allen gasped as the person went straight through him. Wait… _Through_ him?

" _Oops_ , sorry~" So Tyki _was_ cheating… Noah power? Allen smirked. Mana barrelled around the corner next, slamming straight into Allen. He grinned up at the teen.

"You're it!" Mana exclaimed. Allen immediately twisted, shoving his left hand straight against Tyki's _solid_ chest. The man looked surprised and Allen's grin turned shark-like.

"You're it~" He sung, grabbing Mana and running back around the corner. He let the Noah go as they started running, almost hitting Neah on their way through. He heard the other teen curse loudly and laughed as he turned and saw Tyki running off again while Neah debated who to chase. Apparently, he decided upon those who _weren't_ cheating.

Allen vaulted over a table just as Neah caught up to them and watched as Mana got tagged because of it. And started chasing him. He was doing pretty well considering he was playing with Noah, if he did say so himself! He ran around a corner and slammed into a solid body.

" _Oof_!"

"Woah, careful now!" Arms quickly wrapped around him to stop him from falling, because _Allen_ was the one who went flying backwards.

"Ah! I'm sor _ry_!" His apology turned into a squeak as he looked up to see the Millennium Earl smiling down at him.

"It's quite alright. May I ask why you were running?" He asked gently, a slightly concerned note edging into his voice. Mana barrelled around the corner then.

"We're playing tag!" He exclaimed enthusiastically, reaching out to tag Allen.

"Hey, that's not fair! Outside interference! Two steps back for a head start!" Allen exclaimed, quickly manoeuvring out of the Earl's grip as Mana took the required steps. The teen threw out another quick apology as they both started running again, the Earl chuckling behind them.

By the end of the day, they had dragged well over half of the Ark's occupants into the game.

"Lena no Innocence!"

"Tyki stop using your powers!"

"Dammit Wisely, no mindreading!"

"No super speed, Krory!"

"Che."

" _Cross stop shooting at me!_ "

The Earl chuckled as he watched on, smiling cheerfully.

"This is going even better than I had hoped…" He murmured quietly, Komui nodding in silent agreement. He stopped smiling when he saw Mana running towards him full speed. The teen tackled the man and grinned hugely.

"You're it!"


End file.
